Hospice, bong pipes and the Bermuda Triangle

Funny title eh? Don't worry it will make sense in a minute.... So I'm finally cleaning up through the left over mess and disaster of the garage sale.  My house is looking better.  Got the kitchen, bathrooms and all the floors swept and mopped (that's a big accomplishment for me) and I'm making a better dent in the laundry.   I really don't think the guy last week fixed the dryer though.  I'll have to work on getting him back out here.  It still takes 1 and a 1/2 cycles to get my clothes dry.  My room is the grand central station for the laundry sorting mess because I don't have a big laundry room at all.  Well- somewhere in this mess and fuss I lost my keys yesterday. I sat them down and then walked off.  I cleaned everywhere and searched everywhere.  I truly swear my house is the Bermuda Triangle because you set things down and they vanish!  Just like my keys- I had them in my purse and then they vanished!!! I searched and searched, but alas nothing...

Last night I woke up at 1:45am to the Gunman's alarm clock cry for a bottle.  I felt around in the dark for him and found my keys!! Of course- I left them in his blankets! Why I don't know- but hey- they were found!! Yeah! After I got him fed and back to sleep I noticed my phone had two missed calls at 1:15am from my stripper/dancer potsmoking renter. (No joke there, she really does work at Little Darlings Totally Nude Gentlemen's club....hey but she always pays in cash!) So I called her back and she answered.  I could hear all the girls in the dressing room loud and getting ready.  She's so sweet, she's like "Sorry to call so late- I hate to bug you, but my boyfriend just called and our ceiling just caved in.... and it looks like it's raining inside our house right now."  

UM WHAT??? Your ceiling just caved in?!!!

I wouldn't have quit calling my phone until I answered! And then I would have googled my home address and found my house number and not quit calling that until I answered! She was so nice and calm.  I was definately the one freaking out.  But apparantly one of the hot water pipes burst in the ceiling and VOILA! it caved in.  It was a HUGE mess.  It went all over the bed- ruined the mattress and box spring, saturated and ruined the carpet and pad.  It's a royal mess.  We got over there this morning about 7am.  Luckily the boyfriend had turned the water off to the house.  (Which is amazing he can do this because everytime I go over there he is high as a kite.)  There's marijuana everywhere in the house, garage and patio.  And you know what- I really don't care.  Because they never complain, always pay on time and the place always looks good- minus the bong pipes and all. Marijuana actually smells way better than cigarette smoke and the smell doesn't ruin the house like cigs do.  And they have the biggest bong pipes you have ever seen! Big fancy ones out on the patio, little ones in the garage.  One of my workers was like "They really love this stuff don't they?" Heck it's probably growing out in the backyard for all I know. 

I have just lost the will to care anymore with my 4 rentals.  I told Kes last night that's its seriously like they are all on Hospice.  I'm sure everyone knows what Hospice is, but it's what they put old people on when they know that the end is inevitable and near.  They try to make it as comfortbable as possible for the patient and inject as much morphine as legally necessary.  Same thing applies with my rental houses.  Each house is THOUSANDS of dollars upside down, old, barely covering the monthly mortgage and barely rented. They are barely breathing people. It's time for them to die, time for me to "let them go" I say.  I'm pulling the plug here pretty soon.  I know I will lose them all to short sales or foreclosure someday because there's no silver lining, no glimmer of hope.  They are on Hospice, destined to die. Until they have breathed their last breath though I have to keep everyone comfortable.  So the rental is being fixed, the carpet replaced, the mattress and box spring replaced.  But I'm down to my last morphine drips here.  My rental excess funds are in the single digits so I hope they die quickly and don't drag this out anymore!